7 Steps To Quickly Get Over A Break Up – Works For Me All The Time!

Quite a number of articles have been written on how to get over a break up fast. Yet so many people go miserable for months, some even scared because of a break up. From the early age of 16 till now 34 years, I’ve experienced several form of break up. And each time I overcame it quickly. I have a system I use each time I want to get over someone, whether it’s an actual break up from a relationship or just getting over someone I’ve cared about.

I have used the same steps to get over two or more persons that I had to move on from before we even really got into a relationship, actual breakup and even used it to move on from one or more friends I thought didn’t have a good influence in my life. These steps work for me at all times and can work for you too.

Break up can be hard to deal with especially when you feel the person was one of a kind and the relationship you had was the best. I’ve only had one real break up. And that period was the saddest time of my life.

I was in a relationship with this great guy. He was the most amazing person I had ever met. I still think so. He was very thoughtful and self sacrificing. He would do anything for my comfort. And we told each other everything. My relationship with him was and still is the best relationship I have ever had. But as great as it was it was inevitable that the relationship would end. We had some major differences between us. We had nothing whatsoever in common aside a few personality traits. But it was a relationship I wanted to hold on to for as long as I could. However he wanted an answer quickly about settling down together and for that to happen he wanted me to make a major change in my life, a change that would affect everything I was and believed in. I knew I could never do that.

But I didn’t want to break up either. I kept saying to him "must we get married?. Can’t we just be happy together?" But we knew it was inevitable that we would break up. We tried a few times to break up but each time we did we were back together before 24 hours. It was crazy. Finally one day I was rude to him on the phone, said things I shouldn’t have said, and he was far away. He took the opportunity of being far away to end it for good.

I cried for days unending. I would call him several times he wouldn’t pick up. One time he gave his phone to someone else to talk to me. I was so hurt. I would stay in the dark and just let the tears flow. But not long I got over it. So what’s the steps I took to get over a break up fast?

Step 1. Be honest with yourself/make sure you’ve done all you could. I’m a very realistic person. If something can’t work then it can’t. Nothing you do will change that. And that mindset helps a lot to get over anyone I want to very fast. I analyze the situation. Are there valid reasons for the split? Or if you were having major problems and this was the reasons you broke up, perhaps he/she had some character traits that you just couldn’t keep coping with? Or he/she found some faults in you that you can’t control or don’t wish to? Once you’re realistic about the situation it helps you not to be bitter about it. You confirm that after all what happened was supposed to happen.

Step 2. Change your mindset. Every aspect of our lives is affected by our mindset. And certain mindsets can and has limited many greatly in how fully they live their lives. If you have mindset like 'he/she was the one' 'I can’t live without him/her' 'My life is nothing without him/her'. 'He/she used me' etc. Mindset like this limits you. God has created us in a way that we can cope with anything no matter how hard it may seem. There’s actually no one you can’t live without if you have to. There’s no one specially created to be your partner. There’s likely someone better out there.

Before I meant the guy I talked about above, I had been in a relationship that lasted for 4 years. He was my first and I was his first. I did everything for him. We fought our parents to be to together. I bet then I thought he was my one. But he wasn’t. And I broke up with him. And meant someone better. And I am sure whoever I end up marrying will be better than the best relationship I’ve had so far for the simple reason that he would be more compatible with me.

Step 3. Erase him or her. Have you watched the film Eraser? In the move John Kruger played by Arnold Schwarzenegger was part of a US Marshall Witness Protection scheme and his duty was to erase their past and deal with their future. If you have watched the movie, perhaps you remember Arnold say the line "You’ve just been erased!" I practice that. I go into delete/unlike mood. I delete all pictures (thanks to smart phones, no more hard copies that would be harder to get rid of) from my phone. Delete all SMS messages, inbox and outbox. Go through all call lists (missed, dialed and received) and delete all traces of his phone number. Then I delete his phone number from my phone. Delete WhatsApp conversations and contact and unlike him on Facebook. The main reason I do this is so that I don’t see this person’s face at all and their updates, and I don’t get tempted to call him. I often don’t have memorized the phone numbers. So when it’s erased completely from my phone, even if I get tempted to call, I can’t without knowing the number. This really helps.

Step 4. Focus on the negative about your now ex. If you’re trying to forget someone quickly, thinking of the great time you had when you did this and did that will only worsen your situation. Instead focus on the bad. Instead of me thinking about why he’s so great for me and why we should be together, I focus on ALL the whys he’s not good for me. And when I think about that long enough, I end up saying something like "Good riddance"; sometimes out loud. I even do this if I happen to be falling in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way or doesn’t seem to know what he wants. You know, those types who wouldn’t commit to you but wouldn’t really want to move on from you.

Step 5. Listen to some uplifting music. Our default when it comes to the kind of music we listen to is to play songs that describe how we currently feel. So there are many people listening to sad songs when they are going through a break up. And as expected that just doesn’t help. Listen to uplifting music instead. Something motivating. A song that gives hope for a better day.

Step 6. Do not try to be friends, not right away. Getting on the phone immediately or just few days after the break up and trying to act like it’s not a big deal and wanting to offer a hand of friendship isn’t the best. Both parties, especially the one that was dumped need time to accept it before they can be friends with their ex. I broke up with someone not long ago and he was very upset. He claimed I used him. It made me feel bad. So I kept calling him to try to pacify him but all I got in return was aggression and insults. So it’s a No No. When there’s a break up usually there’s one party left angry. Definitely try to be friends or at least make sure there’s no resentment; but not right away. Give the person or yourself some time to heal and get over the break up.

Step 7. Divert your attention to something else. When I was in college and mobile phones were still only for the wealthy class, the single thing I did and quickest way I got over someone was I quickly found someone else. But now I divert my attention in different ways:

• Find someone else. If you were in a relationship with or was sharing your time with someone and suddenly the person is no longer there, it creates a vacuum. And you suddenly feel lonely. Find someone else immediately to feel that time. You don’t have to rush into dating someone just to get over another. It could just be an interesting friend but make it the opposite sex. Only an opposite sex can really distract you from thinking about another opposite sex. Sometimes just having interesting chats with someone on Facebook is enough to keep your spirit up and gradually but steadily help you to start getting over the pain of break up.


• Buried yourself in your work. This is what I most often do now. With several sites to write for and blog marketing to do, I can easily get lost in my work.


• Do something you love doing. I love to watch TV. Good movies. Good soap operas. So if I am too sad to work or just not feeling it I put on the TV and let it drift my thoughts away. With good drama on TV I honestly forget anything and everything. Find what you love that can take your mind off anything if you need to and do it.

Although so many articles have been written on how to quickly get over a break up but they are just repetitive. Nothing practical until now. So this is one of a kind. These are the steps I actually follow and it works all the time. Use the share buttons below to share with your friends. So they can share with their friends too. Help uplift someone from a heartbreak today. You may also use related links on the site to continue reading on the subject.